I wanna *BLANK* you like an animal..

Imagine this...

What if we as humans took on some of the same behaviors as dogs? Particularly a dog's views, attitudes and actions of courtship. Can you picture it? How different would our lives be if we behaved like dogs?



For example, the greeting. Dogs introduce themselves and/or greet one another by sniffing butts. What if that's the way we approached each other the first time we met? You go to meet someone new, walk right up, sniff their butt and in return, they sniff yours. I can see it going something like this:

A new employee comes into work. Immediately, you walk over and sniff their butt. Then, that person takes their turn and sniffs yours. Then conversation begins. "Nice to meet you, my name is Sam and yours?"

Even worse, what if the day you go to meet someone, they have really bad gas? I mean, first impressions are a big deal right? Kinda the same as meeting someone who has really bad breath isn't it? But really, what if you went to introduce yourself (sniffed the butt) and they had just farted? God, that'd be awful! Would they make an "ORBIT" flavor for your ass?

Another example, dogs don't date. Male dog sees a female dog in heat he goes after her...just starts humping away. Sometimes the Female fights him off, sometimes she doesn't. Now apply that to our world:

You are at the grocery store picking up a few things, you see a hot girl in the frozen food section. You walk up to her and immediately just start humping. No, "Hi there my name is..." No dinner, no movie, no nothing! Can you imagine? Just walk up and start hittin it. And she would either, force you off because you weren't her type or she wasn't in the mood, OR she'd just get right on into it! Then after it was over, conversation starts, "So....come here often?"



Finally, (but far from the end of possibilities) dogs leave their mark. Where ever they go, they let others know they have been there. How on earth would that affect our day to day lives?



You're walking through down town with a friend, you sniff a lamp post, you say, "Oh my god, that girl has to be hot! I have to find her" The next few weeks you trail her scent, until finally one day you meet, then apply the concept of the grocery store above. What a story for the grandkids! "I found your grandmother on May 18th of whatever year, but didn't actually meet her until Jun 21st."

Dogs...simple and stupid. Or are they?