I wanna *BLANK* you like an animal..

Imagine this...

What if we as humans took on some of the same behaviors as dogs? Particularly a dog's views, attitudes and actions of courtship. Can you picture it? How different would our lives be if we behaved like dogs?



For example, the greeting. Dogs introduce themselves and/or greet one another by sniffing butts. What if that's the way we approached each other the first time we met? You go to meet someone new, walk right up, sniff their butt and in return, they sniff yours. I can see it going something like this:

A new employee comes into work. Immediately, you walk over and sniff their butt. Then, that person takes their turn and sniffs yours. Then conversation begins. "Nice to meet you, my name is Sam and yours?"

Even worse, what if the day you go to meet someone, they have really bad gas? I mean, first impressions are a big deal right? Kinda the same as meeting someone who has really bad breath isn't it? But really, what if you went to introduce yourself (sniffed the butt) and they had just farted? God, that'd be awful! Would they make an "ORBIT" flavor for your ass?

Another example, dogs don't date. Male dog sees a female dog in heat he goes after her...just starts humping away. Sometimes the Female fights him off, sometimes she doesn't. Now apply that to our world:

You are at the grocery store picking up a few things, you see a hot girl in the frozen food section. You walk up to her and immediately just start humping. No, "Hi there my name is..." No dinner, no movie, no nothing! Can you imagine? Just walk up and start hittin it. And she would either, force you off because you weren't her type or she wasn't in the mood, OR she'd just get right on into it! Then after it was over, conversation starts, "So....come here often?"



Finally, (but far from the end of possibilities) dogs leave their mark. Where ever they go, they let others know they have been there. How on earth would that affect our day to day lives?



You're walking through down town with a friend, you sniff a lamp post, you say, "Oh my god, that girl has to be hot! I have to find her" The next few weeks you trail her scent, until finally one day you meet, then apply the concept of the grocery store above. What a story for the grandkids! "I found your grandmother on May 18th of whatever year, but didn't actually meet her until Jun 21st."

Dogs...simple and stupid. Or are they?

I heart Vicodin

Thought of the day...

Burton Snowboarding Pants (a gift from the girl) = $100

Lift ticket at Ski Beech = $40

Snowboard rental = $25

Torn MCL and dislocated knee cap resulting in doctor bill, prescriptions, missed school and work = $150

First snowboarding trip overall = PRICELESS




True, I may be sitting here with my leg in a splint, pain killers in my blood stream, and a knee the size of a watermelon, but still, I'm satisfied. Snowboarding was an absolute blast! I imagined it would be.

Starting back when I was younger, I wanted to skate. I dreamed about it. A good majority of my friends were skaters and watching them do there little tricks amazed me. But, something about the idea of face pavement didn't settle well with me. So I spent a few years of my youth watching my friends collect bruises, cuts, and broken bones from skateboarding, only trying a trick or two every now and then on a borrowed board. I was envious bur I never got the courage to buy my own board. I did however escape injury free.

Headed to Hawaii. I do not think there was one person who found out I was going to be stationed in Hawaii that DID NOT say, "You gotta learn to surf!" Indeed, I couldn't spend 3 years in Hawaii and not learn how to surf right? But in actuality, it wasn't until I got to the island that I realized just how bad of a swimmer I was. I can hold my own in a pool, but in the ocean, the under current and the waves make me so nervous that I can't even float or tread water. Damn near impossible to learn how to surf if you can't even swim! Once again, a dream shattered.

But now I'm back on the east coast, back in the mountains. Mountains = snow. Another fascination, snowboarding. But this time, I wasn't frightened by the idea! I am aware that people get injured from snowboarding all the time but I reasoned that falling face first in the snow had to be a little less painful than say sliding across the face on some pavement. Also, I'm pretty sure you can't drown in the snow. I'm sold!

This past weekend, we celebrated Dee's birthday with a trip to Ski Beech. The crew consisted of me, the girl, and Kaya, plus the friends, Slim and Rae, Jessie and Dee, and Liz. It was sad that Kaya, the snow dog, couldn't actually come on the mountain with us tho. Anyway, Slim, Liz, and D all skiied, while me, G, and Jessie snowboarded. (Rae just held down the fort drinking beer in the lodge, atta girl!) G was the only one who actually knew what she was doing! And she does it rather well I might add. But Jessie and I had desire to learn and hell, everyone starts somewhere right? I knew I was in for a treat the minute I stepped into those bindings. The exact thought, "Oh shit, this is gonna hurt....alot"

It did.

Ride, fall, ride, fall ride fall. And that was just the first 5 minutes. The process of just getting from the Bunny Slope, to the first lift we decided to get on was not the easiest task I'd ever completed. Even in the first couple of falls, one in particular, pulled hard on my knee, my bad knee. I know it seems rather brave or stupid, either way you wanna look at, trying to snowboard with a bad knee, but I was deteremined that nothing was going to stop me.
I was far from the only one having a little trouble. Dee, well we kinda ran into one another. Slim went off the mountain and fell then some guy followed that same path and landed on top of her and the two had to struggle for a few minutes trying to untangle themselves and their poles and their skis. Liz was concerned about me and Dee so she waited for us before she headed down the little hill to the lift. G described it this way, "SO Liz starts on her way, smiling at me, and just slowly going along then BAM! Face first in the snow."

We aren't the brightest crayons. We got on this lift, assuming that it was a beginners lift, when really NONE of us thought about looking at a map or something that would send us in the right direction. After a few moments, we started to realize, "Uh oh, this thing isn't stopping." And it didn't stop until we reached the top! We all stumbled off the lift and glanced at the mountain that went STRAIGHT DOWN. It was an intermediate slope but to a bunch of beginners it looked as if someone might break something. Liz proclaimed, "I need a beer", D said, "I think I'm just gonna slide on my butt the whole way down." Slim said, "can't we just ride the lift back down?" Jessie said, "fuck it, we're here let's do it!" Some random 12 year old said, "It's not hard" The group just scowled! I think I just kept muttering, "Are you serious?" Everyone was terrified, well, except my baby. She says, "oh it's ok guys, it's only an intermediate slope!"

Jessie went straight to it. I saw her do the ride, fall, ride, fall thing, until she disappeared into the fog. (visibility was HORRIBLE) G waited on me to get started. Ride, fall, ride fall. It was frustrating! That whole not being able to stop or slow down without falling really kinda pissed me off.



There was one time that I got ahead of Jessie and I heard a noise behind me, looked and saw her board coming straight for my head. That was awesome. But truthfully as I got to the beginners slope I started having some nice rides where I was up for more than 30 seconds. What was bad tho was not being able to slow down, I'd get going and riding rather well but get nervous about the increasing speed, it felt like I was flying! What a rush! But kinda scary when you can't control it you know? So sometimes I would fall to stop myself, other times, I'd just be riding along and SPLAT, no idea what happened just ended up sliding on my face, butt, shoulder. Needless to say, there are many bruises in many places. Finally I made it to the bottom and found G. Man she was awesome, far more advanced than anyone else in the group, she'd ride a little then stop and wait on me to tumble past her, then ride some more. Well we waited on the group for a bit. Jessie had that fearless "I know I'm gonna fall so why not do it fast and hard" attitude. She had made it down before us. G was worried about the skiiers. Hadn't seen them since the top. We gave it a few minutes, then headed off to the right lift this time for another run. I started getting a little more comfortable riding. Still couldn't control speed or turn really well. Then it happened. I got all the way to the bottom and didn't want to hit anyone so I was getting ready to fall to stop but the board did it for me. I'm not sure what happened exactly I just know that when I landed the snowboard went one way and the knee went another. I felt my knee cap sublocate once again (even though I was wearing my brace) and really didn't think I'd be able to get up and walk. But I couldn't look like a wuss. I managed to pry myself out of the bindings and get off the slope. I told G to go take some rides without me that I needed to rest but to come get me before the lifts closed so we could go down once more.

Off to the lodge. I found the rest of the group drinking beer and after I limped my way up the stairs I joined them. Everyone had a horror story. It took Shannon, Liz, and D between an hour - an hour and a half to get down the first slope! OH WOW!

By the time I finished a beer G came to get me, I wasn't about to tell her no! So we went out again! Yeah, I was in some pain, but snowboarding is fun! I mean I really did enjoy the rides I had in between falls. We took a new slope, it was intermediate. The best part was getting off the lift and unable to control my direction, clobbered G! She had done such a good job of staying up as we slid down the little hill off the lift but then I came along and sent her right to the ground. I made her go on without me because I knew it would take me some time to get down . It was steep, much like the first part of the first slope. Ride, fall, ride, fall, ride, fall. Still the rides I did manage were getting longer but now, with my knee already in so much pain I was so cautious of not having another fall like that. I wanted my falls to be on my own damn terms! So when I started gaining an uncomfortable speed I'd lay it down. I do believe the highlight was when, I'm not sure how it happened, but my board turned around on me, my back now facing down the mountain, then POW! I did this kinda back flip thing and landed directly on my head. I saw stars and just laid there for a minute just sure that I'd busted my head open. I didn't think snow could feel so hard! I just laid there and didn't move for a few minutes. Until I made sure everything was in tact. (later I found out, I did in fact bust my head open a little bit to the point of blood) but nothing serious. After I gathered myself, I finally got down the mountain. Again, managed a few nice rides. By the time I reached the bottom tho, my knee was done and I knew it. After we finally got home, I knew I'd have to make a trip to the doc's office the next morning. I was surprised to find that it wasn't only my knee cap, that I aslo messed up my MCL. YAY! But I'm now positive that a knee surgery is in order. Not due to the injuries from snowboarding! But I'm going to continue to get injured if my knee continues to have these problems. So we'll see!

Even two days later, covered in bruises, particularly a bruised ego, and stoned off the vicodin, I'm ready to go back! Next stop....SNOW SHOE! I rode goofy this time, safe assumption considering I do everything but write, lefty, and my attempts to skateboard I was a goofy. Maybe next time I'll try regular and see if that will keep me above the snow a little more. Who knows. But it doesn't matter. I'm ready to fall again. The ride before the falling is totally worth it!

I miss that town...I miss their faces

....you can't replace, you can't erase it.

So, its official. I truly miss the crew from the 808. And the saddest fact is that there really isn't a crew anymore. A few have moved on to bigger and better things. Pedro left not long after me and it's finally official mister Rob is out of the Army! Way to go bud! We definitely left our mark on Oahu though! D and Sarah get to hold down the fort while the rest of us journey on. I'd say LaDon't is holding down the fort too, hell I'm sure she's holdin something down! :) But remember she actually made the list of "reasons not to drink" twice!

What I wouldn't give for a day at the North Shore, preferably that little spot at Keana Point that Sarah and I had to ruck march to meet up with D and Ted. We can't bring the cooler dawg, just shove some beer in your shorts! After that perhaps sunset at Haliewa? Followed closely by Dixie Grill happy hour? The puppus! (Actually pupus or appetizers, pronounced poo poos, unless you are Sarah Black and you pronounce it the way I just spelled it: PUP US) What next? Maybe head down the Waikiki strip and check out the Silver man, the Gold man, and the very impressive sorta silver and gold man? Wish the Red Lion was still on Lewers! Wish I could get thrown out of the Red Lion one drunken night. Wish my friends would have to pay 20 bucks to get me back in the Red Lion some 3 months later! How about a movie at the Dollar theater? Food at Bucas? Is it time for the American Idol auditions Rob? Loved hanging out at the 2604 having American Idol parties, pajamma jammie jams, or even the PLAY'D premier party. Some people like to shop, some people like to island hop. Me and Rob like to hop around the island shopping at Goodwills! Pearl Ridge Mall American Eagle and Hollister = the devil. JAMBA JUICE! I smell bacon.

I could go on. Back in July I took a walk down memory lane. The point is...I miss em. I miss the sunshine and the blue water. I miss the aloha spirit and the spam musubi. I miss that time. That's why I'm headed back. LOOK OUT OAHU! HERE I COME. Get ready folks because I plan on gracing Honolulu INT'L round June ish. GET READY!

"....cause the names have all changed since I've been around, but the game ain't the same since I left out"

DS Ritz

So I checked my email tonight, a little thing I do every now and then. Alongside the ads for viagra and get rich quick promises of a homebased business I see an email from one of my battle buddies of Basic Combat Training, and the subject was the same as it is for this blog. Grossman, the author of the email, is one of the only battle buddies from basic that I actually keep up with. Even so our emails are few and far between. Somehow I knew just by seeing the title what secret the email would hold.

It was pretty short sweet and to the point as most of our emails are. But this one in a nutshell stated. Hey B, I'm not sure if you heard but DS (Drill Sergeant) Ritz is dead. He died in Novemeber in Airborne School. She included in her email this link: http://www.matthewritz.com/, which I later explored and found to be a memorial.

DS Ritz wasn't my DS, as in specifically for my platoon, but he was a DS in my company. D Co 787 Military Police BN, Fort Leonardwood MO. But you can bet that for 17 weeks of my life I got to see his face on a daily basis. We called him Buzz Lightyear cause he kinda looked like him! And I swear anything the man said was like an exponential expression to the 5th or higher power. For example,

"hey, hey, hey, hey, hey."
"wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!"
"don't, don't, don't, don't, don't"

He was an easy target for mocking that's for sure. But I can't think of ANY soldier of D787 that didn't like DS Ritz.

I did a little research, thank you google, and found out that DS or should I say MSG (Master Sergeant) Ritz was on his 3rd and final week of Airborne School as well as his 5th and final jump needed for successful completion when he struck his head and later died due to the injuries sustained. The story is here if I have intrigued you enough to take a peek.

DS Ritz will forever play a role in the memories I have of Basic Training as well as the Army. After all he was the DS on duty the night two of my buddies decided to have their little basic training boyfriends sneak into the female barracks. That was fun.

The craziest thing is this, ever since I graduated from AIT and the war in Iraq began, I've always checked every list of the dead I've ever seen for a familiar name and thankfully I've never crossed one. How soon we forget about the soldiers on our homelands who are just doing their jobs day to day when tragedy strikes. To extend further, how often do we take for granted those around us daily? Forgive me if I sound like I'm preaching or if I sound like one of those National Friend Week forwards that we get in our inbox, but I know how easy it is to be complacent about things like that. Hell, I do it myself. If you read my blogs regularly then you know I'm all about the humor, but I guess tonight is a blue moon where I traded in my comedy for some seriousness. (It happens every now and then)