Cause that's just who I am this week....

There is just something about receiving a phone bill with the amount due being $824.79 that just makes a girl need to escape for a little bit. So with that in mind, I decided to flee the boundaries of North Carolina's borders and head north to a new little getaway place. I hopped in the wonder truck (which by the way still sports the Hawaii tags and manages to get me frequent stares in travel...like the people behind me race up to see a real live Hawaiian but then all they get is me....hahahaha).

I was on my way.....Destination? BLACKSBURG VA. GO Hokies! Um yeah.

The drive itself was actually very beautiful. Fall is in full effect and one thing I did miss when I was away was the changing of the leaves. I got to enjoy the view as I raced down the highway. I made excellent time until I got to the exit for Blacksburg off 81. It seems that I was singing along very intently to some Blink and even tho I was in the right lane and knew the exit was next I drove past it. This little mistake landed me in the middle of nowhere on a path I knew was wrong...


oops


After some profanities, I was once again headed in the right direction and landed myself in downtown Blacksburg where I met this kid who makes me smile. The time now, 8 something in the PM. After she vented some slight frustrations about me being fashionably late (personal character flaw #112) she took me to Rivermill Bar and Grill for a beer and a burger before heading to the movies.



Draper Rd Downtown Blacksburg

After some awesome food we headed to Christiansburg to the Mall theater to see SAW II. (hahaha I just said "see saw") Anyway, I find it hilarious that my dawg, Sarah Black, actually grew up in Christiansburg before she headed south to stake her claim in the FL. I find it even funnier that she got in a fight with a boy in that mall where the stairs meet the food court. Her take on the situation was this, "Yeah man, some dude, some old dude was all drunk tryin to rub up on me and shit and I just started wailin on him!" That's my Sarah!

SAW II

I have to say it's gory as hell, then again so was the first one, but just as the first, the plot was awesome. AND I'm almost positive that there will be a SAW III. What I'm truly trying to figure out is if this is another Friday the 13th/Halloween/Nightmare on Elm St type deal, where they just go on for fukn ever.....or will it be a trilogy like Scream. Dunno but the movie rocked and was a perfect complement to a Halloween weekend.

Next stop......well it is Halloween, better hit up a party. So I get carted off deep into the woods in Gods Country, which was scary for a minute, but not quite as scary as the 10 foot tall Beast of the Beauty and the Beast couple that parked beside us. True there was over 100 people at this party and I only knew one but that was ok because I met Mario (Mario Brothers) in the bathroom line and Carrie (stephen king type) was doin some shots in the dining room. COSTUMES were KILLIN ME! Made me wish that me, D, Rob, and Sarah could have been the characters in Spaceballs (one of the many Halloween costume ideas we'd thrown out there)

Me = Lonestar "You'll refer to me as idiot not you captain!"
Rob = Barf "BAAAARF, I'm a mog, half man, half dog"
D = Dot Matrix "That is my virgin alarm! It's set to go off before you do!"
Sarah = Princess Vespa "My hair! He SHOT my HAIR! SON OF A BITCH!"



Can't you just see it????

Good times...

It was freezin for this kid who is climatized to Hawaii's weather as we got to the top of that mountain last night. As we arrived at her apt over looking the mountains with breath taking views that I'd have to wait til morning to see, I got greeted by my adopted dog Kaya! Kaya loves me and I'm stealing her one day! Biggest cuddle bug ever she is....weighing in at 85lbs.

Kaya not only missed me (She came to visit me last weekend in W-S) she apparently missed her mom too! She seemed a little jealous that she wasn't the one getting all the attention but I'll give her one thing....she found a quick solution to that problem as she ever so gracefully sat all 85lbs of herself right on top of mom's head! I wish I'd had my camera phone in hand for that one. Damn it! Gotta get quick on the draw like mcgraw!

One amazing back and neck massage later...I was out like a light. The night was cold...but I managed to stay warm :)

The next morning....

From the bed you can see the view out the window. GORGEOUS! The mountains! The colors! Oh WOW! My adopted dog was anxiously awaiting me to get up out of bed. I made G-Unit promise me she'd buy me the $49999.95 Robot from Hammacher Schlemmer! The day was off to a good start.

We headed back to town for breakfast...more like brunch and totally forgetting about this daylight savings thing. We ate at Gillies in downtown and I'll just forgive them for being a vegetarian restaurant just the same way I forgive her for being vegan. (I did manage to make her cheat with some rice pudding last weekend! :) I get props for that!)


Gillies from the street...lookin all innocent

I had some delicious french toast and blueberries served to me by a cheerleader (this town believes in costumes) while G ate some chips/salsa/tofu concoction. I had to ask, cause I've never been even remotely interested in trying tofu, what on earth it taste like? I mean it looks like cubes of a worn out old stiff sponge, so I just can't imagine what it tastes like. "Nothing, it has no taste" was the reply waiting for me. hmmmm why am I not surprised? By the looks of it I can't imagine that it would. Ok enough slammin on the vegetarians and vegans out there before I start getting protests outside my door.


"You'll say, we've got nothing in common,
No common ground to start from,
And we're falling apart,
You'll say, the world has come between us,
Our lives have come between us,
Still I know you just don't care.
And I said, 'What about 'Breakfast at Gillies'?"


After breakfast I was once again driven out of town, out of sight, out in the middle of no god damn where. But I didn't mind, not at all. And when we arrived at the destination, I found myself a new "thinkin spot". Don't get me wrong, it's not Sandys at night, but I think it will do just fine!

In actuality I was standing in the midst of Falls Ridge Nature Preserve. Absofrigginlutely beautiful!


The falls, CAUTION: NO SWIMMING OR DIVING!



G-Unit! (the camera shy kid actually poses for a picture!)

What a great place to just sit and talk and take in the scenery. Not to mention tell jokes, like "two butch girls walk into a bedroom....stop me if you've heard this one" or scare off all the heterosexuals. Lovin it! But the temperature dropped and to keep me from gettin hypothermia we had to roll out.

When we got back to town it was time for me to hit the road and head back to the kak! This however was the icing on the cake for a wonderful mind easing, stress relieving weekend....

I've told most of you that I've started collecting Boston Red Socks hats. Not because I care one damn thing about baseball or Boston. Nope, nothing at all. In fact I don't watch ANY televised sports with the exception of the Superbowl. I think the only reason I do that is for the commercials and the excuse to get drunk. Tho I will sit in front of a TV which is showing pro football if I'm up at Slim's! Not actually watching of course, instead drinking beer and letting Ray be mean to me! :) Anyway, I got side tracked like usual, back to the Boston hats. The reason....it's a freakin B. And a B is freakin ME! Therefore I am overtaking the hats they are no longer socks hats....they are B hats. That's why I try not to go with traditional boston colors.

I'm standin there, by the truck, wavin to some passer bys and talkin to the G-Unit when a guy walks by wearin a throw back socks hat to which I said, "I need that hat!" G happened to know the guy so walks over to him jokingly, "Hey, can I have your hat?"

HE GAVE IT TO HER! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

HOw fukn awesome is that? Can you tell me? I said I need it....bam...she puts it in my hand. Any wonder why this kid makes me smile? It just gave a perfect ending to the weekend! Most definitely what the doctor ordered in the way of stress relief!


The throw back socks hat preparing to ride shot gun on the way home!





The clever thief, satisfied with the completion of her mission :)

After that I had to head home. But I left smiling from ear to ear.
"I got no regret right now, I'm feelin this"


On the way home Rob shoots me this little picture:


"Don't hate me cause I'm at the beach" -Rob

Ahhh rub it in bud that you are chillin at sunset beach in 80 degree weather and I'm wearin so many damn layers I look like Monica (Friends) in the fat suit! That's ok bud, better suck it up...in 30 + days you'll be freezin your ass off in MN so enjoy it while you can!

The Essence of Life...

....the guitar cup!

I was introduced to the infamous guitar cup on 01.03.04 at Jack Johnson's Kokua Festival. I was introduced to alot of things that night as a matter of fact. It was the first real event that Sarah Black and I had attended together and it marked the beginning of a BEAUTIFUL friendship, one that distance will never fade. At that festival I also found a girl to love, one that stole my heart like a careful thief, a future roommate and friend who would be the only other person to understand things like paper Christmas, Chocolate Pizza, and turtlecide. As if that wasn't enough....I developed a love for beer that very night.

See, I'd never been a beer drinker, at all. I just didn't have a taste for it. It made me gag. I was a bigger fan of "bitchpops" like Smirnoff Ice and wine coolers, or the foofoo drinks like pina coladas. Can I get a hell yeah for some Boones Farm?? I was a lightweight in every sense of the word. Never much of a "drinker" at all. Until that night...

The group of 1516 Ward Ave, that Sarah and I joined up with to attend this festival were pretty intoxicated before we arrived. NICE. The excuse? "It's Jack Johnson DAY!" Though I (being a cheap drunk) waited until we arrived at the Blaisdale Arena to actually have a drink. Lesbians are so cute when they are tryin to get in your pants :) It started off innocent enough with a screw driver that was no bigger than two shot glasses put together (ALL LIQUOR) which probably cost 18 bucks at the concert.

*side note, that has always amazed me, we go to concerts and get so caught up in the hype that somewhere in there we decide its ok that a 16oz beer costs 8 bucks.

3 or 4 screwdrivers later.....

I was beyond trashed and fit closely in with the group in attendance. They switched it up on me and started buying me beer. At that point, TASTE was no longer a factor. (And it hasn't been ever since...I love me some beer) I guzzled quite a few of those down. But, the guitar cup sat before us....glowing.....if we were going to drink beer, we needed to drink it out of the signature GUITAR CUP! As we waited in a line of 25 or so people to get another beer, we convinced ourselves that we not only needed this cup for drinking beer, but anything should go in the guitar cup. There was a strong fixation on drinking chocolate milk out of the guitar cup. Each of us managed to carry a guitar cup home that night as you might've imagined. Though it's pretty amazing we were able to carry anything home that night, including ourselves. The best part of it all, was the guitar cup, tho pretty to look at, was horrible for drinking. I think we ended up wearing more beer than drinking it. Something about rushing thru the skinny part to the wide opening at the rim...I dunno but it was fun.

Sarah actually sent me the picture last night sometime and I haven't gotten the scoop yet about where she was but that really doesn't matter because.....she had the guitar cup.

What to do?

my thinkin face....

To Live or Die in Dixie!

mmmmm DIXIE!

PUT SOME SOUTH IN YOUR MOUTH! now there's some good advice :)

Ahh, the Dixie Grill! A little piece of heaven it is! D sent me this picture last night, I love the fact that she's already managed to spill some popcorn on the table! If only she'd captured a few 32 oz draft beers in the background...the photo would be complete! Now I'm sure she's seated at the one on WARD AVE, which I've been to several times (even got completely shit faced there on Friday the 13th of August 2004, the night of Blink182 concert, and New Years Eve 2004...damn 3 man!) But I must admit I mostly frequented the one in AIEA just a few blocks away from the 260Fizzie.

Back when D was my roommate at the very lovely, very esteemed, very geriatric surrounded Colonnade on the Greens, we pretty much lived at the Dixie Grill. Daily Happy Hour from 3-6. THANK GOD for Pua! Thanks to her, sometimes our happy hour started at 2. And Deanna always said, "Everyone gets happy at happy hour" and believe me...we did! Half Price PuPu's and 3.50 mega mugs....DANGEROUS!

I miss ole Dixie, God Bless those who keep the tradition going!

The 6 am Poet

Cautiously I step out my door
As if I've never before
The air so crisp, and cold but clean
Leaving upon my skin a sting
That playful sort of pleasure pain
Like that of sun shining thru rain
In the distance I see the sunrise
Thru these burning bloodshot eyes
Wide awake tho mostly closed
I stare at the morning's glow
Another sleepless night indeed
Another warning I failed to heed
A night like many others before
But in this night I found more
Time passed from night to day
In its very normal way
But in the silence as I paced around
This sleepless night left a treasure found
Life's about changes we know
Life's full of signs we're shown
"Everything happens for a reason you see"
But what is its reason for me?
That was the thought clouding my mind
Thru the night's passing of time
The answer lay before me clear
And the realization drew a tear
This isn't the dream I imagined so
It never was and this I know
Now it's time to say goodbye
Without question, concern or why
For just as the cold lay shock upon my face
I know it's time for me to leave this place
They say when you leave, you can't go back
Trust me friend for this is fact
Come home often to visit and play
But never come back home to stay
For once you've made a life for you
Never retreat from the new
So pardon me as I pack my things
Don't be sad, for my heart sings
I'll close the door and walk away
Not too long and I'll be on my way
Living the dream I dared to dream
No matter how foolish it may seem
I shall not be a tree rooted in the ground
I am a spirit onward bound
Will I be back someday?
Of course I will but not to stay
I can now see clearly the plan
And I'm focusing in on who I am
Lover of life, adventure and mystery
Off to write my own destiny




Don't you just love it when late night "think nights" lead to awful poetry? I do. Just as other things in our lives inspire pitiful works of travesty like broken hearts (whether you are the breaker or even the breakee) or those occasions when your heart is overfilling with emotions, just whatever the cause. I've always found that it is fun to note them, jot 'em down on some random notebook or scratch paper, or in this case a blog. Then one day, you stumble over them and remember the reason those words, thoughts, expressions came to you at that moment. I don't know, it seems to give a better understanding overall. Whether you look back and think DEAR GOD! HOW PATHETIC WAS I? Or you relive the experience and all its pain. Or maybe even rejoice in it.

If I'm not making any sense, I don't think I'm supposed to after a full night of no sleep. But for those of you who know me, first off you know I haven't been able to blog in for freakin ever because of my hectic work schedule. AH HA! Fixed that didn't I? Also you are more than likely aware of how difficult this adjustment has been for me. The adjustment of getting out of the military, coming home, learning how to be a civilian again and so on. I've been struggling with it all for the last four months, second guessing my every move. Not sure from one moment to the next what I was actually trying to achieve. For the most part, there for a good minute or two, it seemed like EVERYTHING I tried seemed to fail. It got to the point where I seriously thought if I heard ONE more person say "Everything happens for a reason", then I was just going to punch them in the face! :)

I was tired of that copout bullshit! But, then I realized, they were right. (ahhh the masses are always right! damn it!) The answers laid right in front of me....guess I just had my eyes closed. Maybe I was too scared to see it. Or maybe I just didn't want to. Then BAM you get blindsided and slapped right in the face with the obvious. Sometimes my own stupidity amazes me! :)

It is true tho...once you leave home, you can never go back. I find it humorous now that my time spent in Hawaii, I was longing for, remembering, and missing a place that didn't even exist anymore. I thought my place was here, in the Kakalak. The comfortable, familiar place where I grew up. Just one catch.....this place isn't comfortable or familiar anymore. A few scattered friends who have since moved on with there lives. Most not doing anything different than when I left, just moved on from me in my absence. My family is here. My family is my backbone, my strength, for my nephew's smile and laugh alone is priceless. But it can still be priceless and they can still be my backbone even if I don't share the same map dot with them. All this stuff seems pretty simple and easy to understand i know but when fear, doubt, and confusion clutter your mind....it can feel like rocket science.

My destination has been chosen and soon I will be on my way. The thought alone relieved about 6 layers of anxieties from my skull. I will keep you guys posted on the progress, quite a few things have to be taken care of first. But lets hope I'm able to give myself the birthday gift I so desire.