Same ole Boxes, Different Day

If the drivers looked like this my job would be perfect!

So I love working for the mighty big brown and all, but I hate idiots! Strike that, reverse it, I hate WORKING for idiots. Which you might already know if you stumbled across it in my earlier blogs. Idiots themselves however happen to be what brings humor into my life. I'll spare you the details of my rants I'll just say this is my "Work Thought of the Day": You can't cram an elephant down someone's throat no matter how hard you push, I mean I do believe this would be an impossible task even for a $2 hooker.

However, the one good thing about the current job I'm doing is that it's pretty much brainless. It takes my brain all of .0000354 seconds to read a zipcode and process the information. Therefore, I'm left with alot of other seconds that my mind is idle. It is these very times which the good ole melon starts to kick random thoughts into over drive. Think, thank, thunk.

Here's what I came up with this evening. For those of us who have ever taken a religion class and/or got friends and/or are a Buddhist, you are aware that Buddha had 4 Noble Truths and the Eight Fold Path.

The Four Noble Truths
1. Life means suffering.
2. The origin of suffering is attachment.
3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.
4. The path to the cessation of suffering.

The Eightfold Path

1. Right Understanding,
5. Right Living,
2. Right Mindedness,
6. Right Effort,
3. Right Speech,
7. Right Attentiveness
4. Right Action,
8. Right Concentration,

Ah HA! Tonight, the Killah B created her own version of both of these. (However COMMA mine have nothing to do with religion or Buddha as you will see.)

Killah B's 4 Basic Truths to RELATIONSHIPS!

1. Bipolar is not a form of climate, or someone who is partial to cold weather or polar bears. It is a cute little word that actually translates to: the EPITOME of EVIL
2. READ THE SIGNS! For Christ's sake, don't ignore it like a ped xing sign! If you don't pay attention to these signs flashing "he/she is CRAZY" someone could get killed!
3. If you think they are lying odds are.....they aren't doing a good job!
4. I know that little saying goes, "if at first you don't succeed try and try again" BUT if you beat a dead dog all he's gonna do is continue to lay there, bloody, with all sorts of fluid leaking out of every orifice, and letting off a stench that would make the Pepe Le Pew cringe.

Lastly...

Killah B's 8 Step Path to Walk When You Don't Have a Yellow Brick Road To Follow!

1. Right Foot first, gets you off step, it's always the LEFT you idiot! ARGH! Your OTHER LEFT, your MILITARY LEFT....JESUS! Hold up your hands and find the L if you gotta
2. Right Handed people are sexy
3. Right to Know that stepping on cracks doesn't actually break ANYONE's back, no matter how many times you try.
4. RIGHT of WAY is a legal term meaning priority at a crossing, or in traffic. A vehicle must yield either to pedestrians or to other vehicles that have priority. It is not an absolute right as it must be exercised in a reasonable manner with respect for the due care for one's self and for the care of others involved. See also priority signs, yield sign, stop sign. Furthermore it is something a few more of you idiot drivers out there need to study up on.
5. Right Job, Right House, Right Family, Right Life only happens in story books.
6. Right and Wrong. We know the right thing to do but it's so much more fun to do the wrong.
7. Right Reason is the reason we claim we are doing things but refer back to #6
8. Right Spelling helps out your friends pals and buddies as they try to understand your text messages! "tgd roseyes wmt"
9. Right Stuff...baby....love the way you turn me on, you got the right stuff, baby You're the reason why I sing this song...(NKOTB fo LIFE!)
10. Right NOW...I'm currently wearing a purple tutu, a denim turbine, and a bowtie...oh and I've got that stupid New Kids on the Block song stuck in my head!

Review the afore mentioned things, then apply them to your own life and I guarantee.....

absolutely nothing!

ps. to those of you who constantly read the blog but never comment...we'll call you floaters....do me a favor...leave a piece of you with me so that i may cherish it forever and ever.