REPULSIVE yet INTRIGUING all at once!

First off, I feel the need to scream this for all to hear.....just as the daughter proclaimed in the movie First Wives Club, "I'M A LESBIAN....A BIG ONE!"

Whew...do you know how nice it feels to say that? FANFREAKINTASTIC!

Anyway, the story is that I came out completely by age 20. Then at the lovely age of 22, I ever so cleverly decided to join the ARMY. Recruiters should actually be used car salesman! They're good! So naturally thanks to that absurd policy of "don't ask, don't tell", I had to return to the closet so to speak. However, lets be honest with ourselves, I don't think my sexual orientation was a big mystery to most. Sarah Black being an exception to this rule of course, I'll never forget the day I told her in confidence. It was 03 Jan 04, Jack Johnson Kokua Festival 2004. I walked into her room, we were roommates in the barracks and said, "Hey dawg, you wanna go to see Jack Johnson with me today, I'm supposed to be meeting some people and then we're rollin out. Oh hey dawg, just so you know, which I'm sure you already did, but I'm gay." I'll never forget how puzzled and shocked she looked. She never ceases to amaze me. :)

Even still, knowing that everyone knows you are a homosexual just doesn't seem to ease the aggravation that goes along with not ever being able to say it! So now....I feel alot better 'cause I can!

Thanks to that wonderful policy I had to semi refrain from bridging some topics in my nervous chatter. Now that it's no longer an issue, let the fun begin!

As the title of today's post suggests...you might find yourself a little torn about the devices I'm going to introduce you to. I'll never forget the first time I told Rob that such a contraption existed, as we were making our way back from Wainae one dark sexless evening (sexless cause I paid 100 bucks on a hotel room to get some from this chick who wanted to make all my fantasies come true and lets just say that didn't happen..but that's a whole nother story in itself). Anyway, as we were riding he and I found ourselves talking about sex toys. Why you ask? I have no idea. All I do remember is when I told him I had seen this one particular sex toy, he was SO DISTURBED that he rolled down the window of my truck and threw his pen out! He just didn't know what to do, so he threw the pen. After tossing his writing utensils, a phone call to Dusty enevitably followed. Ok Ok, enough beating around the bush eh? How bad could it be?

The Periscope Vibe. (as pictured below)

The Periscope Vibe is a vibrator with a lighted tip and external viewing area for the sole purpose of seeing what is going on inside the body while the vibrator is working its magic. WHAT????!??!

Now the first immediate reaction I get is that's disgusting! Well it is sorta. Who really wants to see what's going on up in there while you're taking care of business? On the other hand, it's almost like a science fair project you used to do back in middle school. Well, of course not EXACTLY the subject matter for middle school but you get my point right? So I guess you could say that even though this is a tad bit revolting, I'm curious to investigate it a little bit. Not saying that I'll actually act on this impulse, but just saying that it leaves me feeling repulsed and intrigued at the same time.

The other aparatus that none of us can quite grasp would be...

The Accomodator. (also pictured below)

Now I'm not going to delve into what the Accomodator's function is. IF you are a smart little cookie, you'll figure it out the minute you see the picture. IF you can't figure out what its function is, don't look to me for an explanation because you don't need to know! I must admit that the concept behind the idea makes perfect sense to me. What I can't figure out is, how on earth could you continue to let whoever's wearing it continue to do the deed once you saw that individual wearing it??? HOW COULD YOU LOOK AT THEM WITH A STRAIGHT FACE???? It's disturbing! Who invents this stuff?