Nervous Chatter: June 2005

Do you remember way back when....

We first got introduced to the internet?? Back when email FWDS were the best thing you'd ever seen. How many of you got touched when they received that "National Friendship Week" forward from someone on your buddylist? It just melted your little heart didn't it?? Or hows about the notices that poor little Sally, Johnny, Joe, or whatever the name of the kid was for that week, who was in the hospital and their last request was to receive letters and post cards or whatever!?? Do you remember?? OF COURSE YOU DO! Don't act innocent! Don't act like you didn't fall right into the trap of chain email! We all did it long ago.

Now, we seem to mumble profanities when we open our inboxes to find those very same FWDs still circulating the net. And you wonder why if the person who sent it to you was indeed a friend, would they continue you waste your time with such nonsense? Who out there still gets suckered into reading them? AH HA! Well I myself make good use of the delete button most of the time, yet still, sometimes I'll get suckered in myself.

Today I found one that I decided I'd be silly enough to infact share with everyone, however instead of forwarding it along...I figured I'd just post it here so that if you wanna read it. It's up to you.

*side note* How many people have received the horrible text forwards???? If not, don't worry, your time is coming! When you are sitting in the theater watching a movie, it will strike, a forwarded text from 5 other numbers that asks you if know what CHRIST did for you. Just ask our buddy Rob!

1.Have you ever fallen off your bed? Well...not my own bed, but I fell off my ex's raised bed in her dorm room once...yeah...that was fun.
2.Do you sleep on the floor? Ummm NO, unless we're camping out in the livingroom to watch movies :)
3.Have you ever gone camping? Twice, it's called FTX (field training excercise) in basic training..wasn't much fun tho
4.Do you like to play hopscotch? Um nooo. Tell me when a 25 year old has time to play such a thing.
5.What do you do when it rains? "I'm only happy when it rains!" Sleep or have sex :)
6.Are you on a computer, laptop, etc.? THat's just a little TOO personal don't you think??? hahha
7.Where are you now? Just a figment of your imagination...
8.How many surveys have you done today? scroll up and see if you can answer that question yourself
9.Whats the last movie you've seen? Back to the Future, I don't get out much
10.Do you go to summer school? nope but I got summer teeth....(JOKES! don't want you cats thinkin I'm toothless!)
11.Do you go to camp? Yep, Camp Crystal Lake (chi chi chi chi HA HA HA HA)
12.Have you ever played rugby? No
13.Have you ever played basketball when it was storming? Uh huh
14.Are you a cheerleader? LEAVE THE VIDEO TAPE OUT OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO TOLD YOU?? WHO??
15.What's your favorite college? One that gives me a degree
16.What elementary school did you go to?The one where Ms. Johnson taught PE
17.Middle School? No middle school, just intermediate then jr. high...where Ms. Johnson taught PE
18.High School? Think Ms. Johnson liked me...she followed me the whole way!
19.College? A few
20.Out of all of them, which mascot was your favorite? We always beat up the mascots..
21.Do you wear spirit wear?Do I wanna know what spirit wear is?
22.Do you sprint when you run? Only run when chased..by dogs, police, people with guns, or Drill SGTs.
23.What are you listening to now?The ever soothing hummmm of...nevermind, you don't need to know!
24.What color is your cursor? WHY DOES COLOR ALWAYS MATTER TO YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!
25.Have you ever been to a wedding?Yep, my cousins got married...to each other
26.Have you ever worked at a fast food restaurant? You can't prove anything!
27.How many times have you moved? Enough to know I never wanna do it again!
28.Do you take medicine? I'm getting help for that...I'm in a program and it's got like these 12 steps or something.
29.Where have you been out of your country? Very often Hawaii felt like another country...but Sept of 2006 I'm Italy bound!
30.Whats the most exotic place you've been to? Your mom's bedroom
31.Are your nails painted? I got a little bit of clear polish still left from the lovely cat women of "Trina's Beauty Supply" where they do spa pedicures that me, D, Sarah, Ladont, and a few others seem to enjoy.
32.Do you have makeup on?Yep, I look like the Joker from Batman
33.Do you wear glasses? only when I get type C in my eye
34.Do you know anyone that is blind?Yes, my friend Rob is blind in one eye!
35.Do you have friends that are conceited?Let's see...me, Rob, Sarah, ummm Shaneazy, umm Ladont, ummm my sister...actually it's "just confidence misconstrued as something evil" :)
36.Have you ever planted a tree? No but I've killed a few
37.What's your favorite color?BLUE!!!!!!
38.Do you think you are popular?Sure..with who? with what?
39.Do you text people? evil grin...according to my tmobile bill...i send/receive 4000-6000 a month THANK YOU UNLIMITED TEXTING!
40.Do you have a cell phone?This is the year 2005 right?
41.Have you ever tried counting to a million? That's why we have technology...so I don't have to!
42.Do you read during the summer?YES and in the fall, the winter, and the spring! woohoo! I CAN READ!
43.What is one thing that is turned on all the time? my girlfriend....JOKES! ummm my cell phone, can't leave home without it!
44.Do you have asthma? I'm out of the army now...i can answer honestly...YES!
45.Did you ever want braces?This thing musta been designed for 13 year olds....I HAD braces many many many years ago
46.Have you ever caught a firefly? yes, it burnt my hand
47.Did you ever cut your own hair? Often...but the last hair cut was given to me by Shanelle...explains the crooked side burns :)
48.Have you been to a palace? I lived in a palace...it was called THE Two6ZeRoFizzie
49.Do you want to be a queen/king? no, but I've dated a few DRAMA queens :)
50.What are you wearing? nothing
51. have u ever roasted marshmallows?Had a pretty good time with smores one night...even got some pictures to prove it.
52.Have you made a snowman before? snowmen are boring...I make snowpigs!
53.Is it snowing? let's see...it's JUNE...in hot and humid NC....NOPE no snow!
54.Do you have a secret handshake with someone?That is none of your business! That is between me and the SWARM!
55.Have you ever made paper? No but I've eaten lots of it!

Ahh see wasn't that fun?????? hahahhaha Feel free to copy it and answer your own in the comments section!

Meanwhile...check this out!

You too can be an artist!

I LOVE the word IDIOT!

don't think the word idiot is used enough actually....I'm also a big fan of gutterslut apparently :)

Snake bite!

Since I've been back on the east coast I've been struggling with adjusting to the time difference. Here it is almost 3 weeks later and I still don't have a good grasp on it. That being said, last night I decided to take some tylenol pm to help me sleep through the night. It's so frustrating being up all night and so exhausted during the day. The thing is I hate taking tylenol pm because it ALWAYS gives me nightmares. I wonder why that is...

Last night was no exception to the rule. The nightmare was about a snake. I huge snake like 50 feet in length and it was sort of pale yellowish in color. It struck out and bit me on the thigh! I tried to grab it by the back of its head/neck and get it off but when I finally got it loose, it struck again. By the time it was all said and done I was bitten 3 times, 3 different spots on the leg. Ankle, knee, and thigh.

Afterward I found myself struggling to go find help. It was me and good ole Jola on top of some mountain, trying to make our way down to go to the hospital. But I must have woken up after that. Can't remember anymore.

I feel as though the snake bites are symbolic. With that being said I consulted the experts. HHAHAHAH ok not really, just did a quick search on the internet. What I found is below:

In writing about Snake Symbolism, Gillian Holloway, Ph.D. wrote, "People who are dying or who have lost a loved one often dream of snakes, at or near the time of death. For whatever reason, these dreams seem involved with the psychic awareness of the transition from this life to the next...." Gillian Holloway, Ph.D. identifies being bitten by a snake as meaning different things. She says, "In many dreams a single snake will come to bite you, and you may in fact be bitten after a brief struggle. To your amazement though, you will not die, and may find that the situation is not as bad as you thought." According to Holloway you have this kind of dream if you are struggling with some problem, relationship or challenge.

Snakes can have many meanings according to each dreamer, but they frequently tend to symbolise facing something painful in our lives ... and then healing as a result.

Anyone else care to comment? Cause I'm not liking either answer!

REPULSIVE yet INTRIGUING all at once!

First off, I feel the need to scream this for all to hear.....just as the daughter proclaimed in the movie First Wives Club, "I'M A LESBIAN....A BIG ONE!"

Whew...do you know how nice it feels to say that? FANFREAKINTASTIC!

Anyway, the story is that I came out completely by age 20. Then at the lovely age of 22, I ever so cleverly decided to join the ARMY. Recruiters should actually be used car salesman! They're good! So naturally thanks to that absurd policy of "don't ask, don't tell", I had to return to the closet so to speak. However, lets be honest with ourselves, I don't think my sexual orientation was a big mystery to most. Sarah Black being an exception to this rule of course, I'll never forget the day I told her in confidence. It was 03 Jan 04, Jack Johnson Kokua Festival 2004. I walked into her room, we were roommates in the barracks and said, "Hey dawg, you wanna go to see Jack Johnson with me today, I'm supposed to be meeting some people and then we're rollin out. Oh hey dawg, just so you know, which I'm sure you already did, but I'm gay." I'll never forget how puzzled and shocked she looked. She never ceases to amaze me. :)

Even still, knowing that everyone knows you are a homosexual just doesn't seem to ease the aggravation that goes along with not ever being able to say it! So now....I feel alot better 'cause I can!

Thanks to that wonderful policy I had to semi refrain from bridging some topics in my nervous chatter. Now that it's no longer an issue, let the fun begin!

As the title of today's post suggests...you might find yourself a little torn about the devices I'm going to introduce you to. I'll never forget the first time I told Rob that such a contraption existed, as we were making our way back from Wainae one dark sexless evening (sexless cause I paid 100 bucks on a hotel room to get some from this chick who wanted to make all my fantasies come true and lets just say that didn't happen..but that's a whole nother story in itself). Anyway, as we were riding he and I found ourselves talking about sex toys. Why you ask? I have no idea. All I do remember is when I told him I had seen this one particular sex toy, he was SO DISTURBED that he rolled down the window of my truck and threw his pen out! He just didn't know what to do, so he threw the pen. After tossing his writing utensils, a phone call to Dusty enevitably followed. Ok Ok, enough beating around the bush eh? How bad could it be?

The Periscope Vibe. (as pictured below)

The Periscope Vibe is a vibrator with a lighted tip and external viewing area for the sole purpose of seeing what is going on inside the body while the vibrator is working its magic. WHAT????!??!

Now the first immediate reaction I get is that's disgusting! Well it is sorta. Who really wants to see what's going on up in there while you're taking care of business? On the other hand, it's almost like a science fair project you used to do back in middle school. Well, of course not EXACTLY the subject matter for middle school but you get my point right? So I guess you could say that even though this is a tad bit revolting, I'm curious to investigate it a little bit. Not saying that I'll actually act on this impulse, but just saying that it leaves me feeling repulsed and intrigued at the same time.

The other aparatus that none of us can quite grasp would be...

The Accomodator. (also pictured below)

Now I'm not going to delve into what the Accomodator's function is. IF you are a smart little cookie, you'll figure it out the minute you see the picture. IF you can't figure out what its function is, don't look to me for an explanation because you don't need to know! I must admit that the concept behind the idea makes perfect sense to me. What I can't figure out is, how on earth could you continue to let whoever's wearing it continue to do the deed once you saw that individual wearing it??? HOW COULD YOU LOOK AT THEM WITH A STRAIGHT FACE???? It's disturbing! Who invents this stuff?

Kinky or Crazy?

from the moive Ten Things I Hate About You: "I have a dick on my face don't I?"

Shouldn't you have a license for that??!?!??!

Just call me Dr. B!

Our Tangled Web

Ok my little crazy 808 state cats...here's the deal. We're all on different schedules and so forth and some of us have moved away :( sad but true. So the question is, what do we do now that we can't all meet up at the Dixie Grill for Happy Hour? AH HA! I got it. Thanks to Navy Chick, known to some others as Joslyn, who suggested we have our own little meeting space, we've created a blog for all of our "family" and those who love us to meet and share our latest news. You can find it in Our Tangled Web. We all know that's an appropriate place for most of us because we seem to find ourselves all kinds of tangled up! So if you want to join the fun shoot me an email zipm@aol.com for the username and password. Don't question me....just do it!

meanwhile, play around on these spots:

And I thought Deanna was bad about always counting down til her b-day!?!?!?!
Well it seems that someone out there was thinking about me, at least my birthday month anyway. NOVEMBER

To further expand on an obession with time. This is just odd. CLOCK

So I thought that when I heard about the threesome which took place in the "dirty 9th" consisting of a guy, his girlfriend, and his girlfriend's mom, that the world has gone mad and people are just gross and disgusting inviduals. . .then I find websites like so. A NEW WAY TO LOOK AT FIDO!

After that....we just need to put an end to this madness! THE END!

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS INDIVIDUAL?

We interupt this program to bring you an important announcement!

****NEWS FLASH***** earlier this evening, the young woman you see pictured before you was reported missing from the DR. D.M.Berthrong home for the criminally insane. She was last seen wearing casual attire consisting of t-shirt, bandana, and rex kwondo pants, which remarkably destroyed all evidence of BFR. BEWARE! She's considered armed and dangerous particularly when exposed to alcoholic beverages! Has slight drooling / mucus problem. She has already claimed the life of two turtles, one (whose identity is still being investigated) was abused, left for dead and hurled from a 6 story high lanai, she abandoned the other, a very educated turtle (Laquincia) that was recently enrolled in Chaminade University of Honolulu, and one rough tough beta fish, Bluestarfighterthunderspeed, may he rest in peace. ALSO....THIS JUST IN....apparently the escapee, who goes by the alias d double L, was discovered fleeing the scene of a local Waikiki establishment after making off with over $100+ worth of food and alcohol. She may be working alone or with accomplices. If you know the whereabouts of this individual, please contact the local authorities, FBI, CIA, IRS, NAACP, Lone Wolf Society, and the Black Panthers immediately!

STILL wearing my yanks cap even after I bought him one!

doesn't he make your heart melt??

the hunt for red october?

.....nope, just the green mini mag light! :) Don't hate!

So here I am, sitting in the double 3 SIX. That's 336 for those of you who might have some type of learning disability. It's nothing satanic that's for sure. Anyhow, it means I'm back in beautiful North Carolina. That's right, hung up the bdu's and the soldier boots, back to being a sick lame and lazy civilian once again. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The sad part though has been bidding farewell to the members of the "Dirty 9th" that I miss already!

B and mini me!

Guess who's back???????

It's been a while....

feelin' loved...

the time has come

I'm finding that leaving this rock today is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I'm saying good bye to alot of people who mean so much to me in my life. The killah b is usually full of comedy but today, I am truly sad.

"and i don't even make a sound 'cause, it's gonna sting me to leave this town"

breakdown-jack johnson